Why I'm not celebrating Valentine's Day

The first reason I don't like Valentine's Day stems from bad childhood memories. When I was in elementary school in the early 1980s, kids didn't have to bring Valentine's Day cards for everyone in the class. None of those inclusionary, don't-hurt-anyone's-feelings ideas had become popular in schools yet. (Or maybe the just hadn't reached Catholic schools in Topeka, KS yet. We were always the last to get anything new.) Kids were allowed to bring Valentine's cards for only the people they liked. So basically Valentine's Day became yet another popularity ritual. The cool kids had a bag stuffed with cards and candy hearts. The uncool kids had a handful of cards from their handful of friends. I was always in the a latter category and it was no fun.

A small aside - the only way the popular kids could have gotten so many cards is if BOTH the cool and uncool kids were giving the cool kids cards. Why on earth did we do this?!? Did we think they would be are friends, like us more, or maybe even just smile at us in class if we handed them a cheap piece of paper that said "Be Mine" with a stale candy heart scotch taped to the back? And why did we always pander to these kids? The grade school social hierarchy takes all the kids to sustain it - the popular kids to be cool and the unpopular kids to keep supporting the idea that there are cool and uncool kids. And Valentine's Day was another piece that upheld this social construction.

So back on to the topic at hand. Even past grade school, I've never been into the whole Valentine's Day thing. In high school and college I was doing the whole anti-establishment, alternative thing, so getting into holidays "created by greeting card companies" didn't really fit with that image. As an adult, I went years never actually having a boyfriend on Valentine's Day. (I would, completely coincidentally, always break up with someone right beforehand or meet someone right afterwards.) The couple of times I was with someone, it was a long-distance relationship. It really wasn't until the first year I was with David (my now husband) that I thought about having a real Valentine's Day celebration.

Ultimately, though, I have continued to not celebrate Valentine's Day. David is not really a holiday, gift-exchanging, card-giving kind of person. (Ask anyone in his family - until I came along, they were lucky to get Christmas or birthday presents from him.) So couple that with my lingering bad memories of Valentine's Day, and you have the explanation for my non-celebration of Valentine's Day.

However, I did go to Whole Foods and buy some yummy food and desserts from their pre-made food counter. I also will open a bottle of wine. But it's certainly not because it's Valentine's Day. David and I are simply celebrating . . . the new episode of Lost tonight . . . or . . . ummm . . . how about the end of the writers strike . . . or the St. Valentine's Day Massacre. Yeah, that's it. That Capone was a real cool guy.